my past saturdays.over and sad.
Open for Making : A Residency for Creativity
Co-Curated by Joyce Grimm and Paul Butler
Triple Base Gallery
ambiguous scenarios with a video camera. basketball. acting exercises. yoga-meditation. hike to a local urban garden. planting day. book/zine making. First Annual Drawing Party. whiffle ball. concept album. weave a “mojo bags” containing local healing herbs. teepee sanctuaries. community acupuncture movement.
this is how i've been spending a few of my past saturdays. i'm sad it is over. really sad. i adore the good people over at triple base. they are so rad.
Co-Curated by Joyce Grimm and Paul Butler
Triple Base Gallery
ambiguous scenarios with a video camera. basketball. acting exercises. yoga-meditation. hike to a local urban garden. planting day. book/zine making. First Annual Drawing Party. whiffle ball. concept album. weave a “mojo bags” containing local healing herbs. teepee sanctuaries. community acupuncture movement.
this is how i've been spending a few of my past saturdays. i'm sad it is over. really sad. i adore the good people over at triple base. they are so rad.
a saturday in february
11:15 pittsburg to sfo. el farolito. super suiza. adorable kids. actionweaver! creativity. weaving. wormwart. titties on the wall. happiness. excitment. fun. joy. missed 3:47 train. 10 minutes late. busy night. split 40 break. smiles.
i would like to announce: bad joke time!
what's a gay dudes favorite sound?
a fart.
what's a colored baby's first words?
mommy, daddy, yo' mamma.
what's a mexican baby's first words?
mommy, daddy, taco bell.
why is 6 afraid of 7?
cause 7 ate 9.
a friday in february
work. reading. sketching. tv. late night fun. 149 beers for $100. slingshot? saloon? hipster house. hipster party. hipster music. hipster pimples. hipster filth. free cd's. forced dancing. forced clapping. forced interest. ariel @ mills? speakeasy? speak easy? hungry asian girls who want jack n the box. hungry asian girls and their geekiy lesbo friends. fag hags. hungry asian girls climbing up the wrong tree. guys w/ my middle name as their first. guys w/ my middle name who are cool. guys w/ my middle name who can hold a cool convo and are pretty dope. guys w/ my middle name that should be my new friend. greg scaring off cool guys w/ my middle name with a conversation @ coke. grabby fags. crabby fags. asian girls who dont own it. invisible helmuts. chicken 'n' waffles. tables with no tops. fun. beach music. mud wrestling? forgeting michelles book. sleep.
jokes.
josh:
what do they say about spinach and anal sex?
if you didn't like it as a kid you wont like it as an adult.
krystal:
why dont lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
cause you cant go down on jenny craig when you have mary kay on your face.
julia:
what kind of over-alls does mario wear?
denim, denim, denim.
(note; this does not translate well through text)
me:
so there's this hot chick with no arms or legs sun bathing on the beach. this average looking guy walks past her and she asks him if he could her a favor. he says sure, and she asks him to screw her, because she's never had it done to her before. so he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "well you're screwed now, bitch!"
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. funny!
what do they say about spinach and anal sex?
if you didn't like it as a kid you wont like it as an adult.
krystal:
why dont lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
cause you cant go down on jenny craig when you have mary kay on your face.
julia:
what kind of over-alls does mario wear?
denim, denim, denim.
(note; this does not translate well through text)
me:
so there's this hot chick with no arms or legs sun bathing on the beach. this average looking guy walks past her and she asks him if he could her a favor. he says sure, and she asks him to screw her, because she's never had it done to her before. so he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "well you're screwed now, bitch!"
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. funny!
passing up things.
is it laziness? is it insecurity? is it fear? is it just plain stupidity? it's the latter. and then some. why do i passed up doing things that i know i'm gonna fucking love. i'm stupid. it's ok. i went and got groceries. i needed them, so i guess it worked out. what ever....
the lame bus
just pulled in. but not really. i dont know. i have the next two days off and i have plans for them both, but i really just want to work. i want to be making money. tennis, panini's & poker, laundry, gallery hopping, seeing old friends, possible bar hopping. it all sounds fun and all. but above all it's the endless amount of time to think and be with my thoughts that i want to avoid. i dont like having that. and yes, i get not wanting to be alone with my thoughts isn't a good thing. work keeps me busy and not able to think about life. this is why i like to pick up shifts. besides the money.
soon
Paul McCarthy's Low Life Slow Life: Part 2 «
Presented by CCA Wattis Institute
January 27–May 30
1111 Eighth Street
Wattis Institute
Reception: Tues., Jan. 27, 6-8 p.m.
lets all be square and seen up in there.
let's get quiltin'
is it bad to take someone else's amazing work and make something out of it for yourself. if so, i dont care. sorry tauba auerbach & christopher baird, but i wants me some fucking amazing quilts and you ain't gonna make 'em for me. cute warmth in the winter.
there's a Symphony in my stomach
for the past two days my stomach has been a orchestra of sounds. burnnnnnnt. furrrrmmmmp. pssstp. blurbp. urnnnnnnnnd. not farts. just fucking sounds. nothing poots out. just echoes inside. it's not really fun in social settings. i'm afraid that if i just try to push out the air i'm gonna toot out my fucking skeleton. this isn't fun.
i'm gay.
The moment I saw him smile,
I knew he was just my style,
My only regret is we've never met,
Though I dream of him all the while.
But he doesn't know I exist,
No matter how I may persist,
So it's clear to see there's no hope for me,
Though I live at 5135 Kensington Avenue
And he lives at 5133.
How can I ignore
The boy next door?
I love him more than I can say.
Doesn't try to please me, doesn't even tease me,
And he never sees me glance his way.
And though I'm heart-sore
The boy next door affection for me won't display,
I just adore him, so I can't ignore him,
The boy next door.
I just adore him, so I can't ignore him,
The boy next door.
this is not about you
I knew he was just my style,
My only regret is we've never met,
Though I dream of him all the while.
But he doesn't know I exist,
No matter how I may persist,
So it's clear to see there's no hope for me,
Though I live at 5135 Kensington Avenue
And he lives at 5133.
How can I ignore
The boy next door?
I love him more than I can say.
Doesn't try to please me, doesn't even tease me,
And he never sees me glance his way.
And though I'm heart-sore
The boy next door affection for me won't display,
I just adore him, so I can't ignore him,
The boy next door.
I just adore him, so I can't ignore him,
The boy next door.
this is not about you
sky. color.
i wish i could print these as strips on t shirts. i wish every time i closed my eyes this is what i saw. i wish the families living room that my bedroom window looks in on looked like this.
dear edith
jade ebony & ivory
spontaneity donuts closed galleries crossing the bridge 10 minutes for a quarter crazy emotions sleepy face butt slaps constant jokes bride toll parking fee chai milk bread burritos early rising long lines locked doors never ending story dogs neglecting original plans freeway entrance freeway exits not stopping for stop signs magical babies cute puppies fantastic moments posters of shows i didn't go to mural in the city with your name on it awesome book about boats cool magazine for a dollar journal with copper plate from a musty guy not really caring about the plans stopping through showing up after the fact staying fifteen minutes making noise with your eyes closed and strangers enjoying life dog slob dog love life love fun love tennis rackets for juniors cute fucking sofas teal piano ugly people. today and always, hopefully.
hi......................there!
Dear bfg_,
We are sorry to inform you that the profile you created on ___________ has been denied due to the following reason:
- Content includes unclear or unrecognized language or words.
shit.!
it's twelve 30?! gotta go to bed. not wanting to wake up early tomorrow to hang out with friends. not wanting to be awake either to deal with the current frustration and envy. i'm gonna go read. my knee hurts. it feels like it's trying to bend it self all crooked and shit. i'm looking forward to sunday. and wednesday. and the 25th. and tomorrow. i'm rambling. i'm busying my brain. i'm distracting my thoughts. i'm avioding the now and always of my thinking cycle. i'm bitter. but not super mean. i wish to lay in my bed and close my eyes and instantly fall asleep. i wish my wishes came true. not so much this one, but the one i only ever make.
first time. last night.
thanks bryan. i promise no more stubby shots. no more tapping the ball. pure follow through strokes. aim for the ball behind the ball. and all that other shit straight dudes say.
i wants it!
even though i dont really drink. i could keep it full of arnold palmer, though. plastic pocket flask!
loneliness is my game.
i own that shit, so back the fuck off. go find something else to claim, fucker.
today maybe me miss myself.
the self that actually began to erase my true self. does that sound stupid. this isn't really a question.
maria.
um... hey spaz twin # 2. how have you been. it' looks like you've been really good. like life is treating you with respect and honor. i dont know. is it weird to say that i miss you? i dont know. i miss you. i miss how your face resembles debbie harry's and how people would always say to me: "you mean the girl who looks like blondie?" and i'd say:" no. blondie's a band." i remember how we would have to go to english class early cause if the buss and how we'd just either sleep or just goof off and shit. we'd never have our essays done or our reading and we'd spend the whole class passing notes and just fucking being awesome. remember how our reader said brain tear, but it was suppose to say, brian tear. he hated that. he'd separate us and not allow us to sit together. i remember how you missed class after that guy committed suicide and how i'd never had heard of him and how the teacher didn't want to accept that excuse and i was like, well she's obviously hurt, stop being a bitch ms. teacher. i remember how i would say dumb things in class like "omg! i totally see kate moss in your abstract drawing!" and you'd just turn around and look at me holding in laughter. wow. i was 18. i miss how you made me feel special. i like how somehow we still are friends. i hope all is well with you like it appears and i hope you are happy.
i told you this would be here.
socializing. The term socialization is used by sociologists, social psychologists and educationalists to refer to the process of learning one’s culture and how to live within it. For the individual it provides the skills and habits necessary for acting and participating within their society. For the society, inducting all individual members into its moral norms, attitudes, values, motives, social roles, language and symbols is the ‘means by which social and cultural continuity are attained’.
i like my co-workers. i gather they like me. i like the interaction that i have in my life with them.
i like my co-workers. i gather they like me. i like the interaction that i have in my life with them.
only 24 hrs. ago
serious conversation. emotions thought out and spoke of. hugs. realities. truths and frustrations. robert downey jr.. being in a harmony korine film and not knowing it. the truth about being handicapped. justin timberlake. beyonce. snl. taco faces. eyeball tattoos. tattoo removal. stupid people. stupid girls. narcoleptic puppies. tired cubs. child birth. pizza for lunch and dinner. a confident day at work. at slumber party of sorts. a realization that i'm broke. & screwed.
-signed, someone
-signed, someone
i heart you too. jealousy.
except for last monday where my heart was a burning ball of anger and passive aggressive treats.
liked how i said gayder so no one knows who i'm talking about? yeah. secret coder. awesome.
liked how i said gayder so no one knows who i'm talking about? yeah. secret coder. awesome.
deep breaths of fresh air.
this current weekend has been an amazing blur of conversations, experiences, tastes & feelings. you've gotta start to work better on no longer putting yourself in a rut. there's just simply no reason for you to be the way you are and for you to stretch your moods the way you do. stop it. and enjoy the moment even if it's killing you & making you feel stupid or unloved or unwelcomed or just any fucking thing. enjoy it, because it's better than being dead.
we've all been there, but cant go.
where you'd just love to climb into the screen and bring just that one person with you.
david.
first off. why aren't you sucking my dick? but no, i kid. today was not a very successful day for my emotions, dude. like seriously it feels like everything i've been laying down foundation for is totally being like ripped to shreds by a tornado or something. it really sucks shit. besides work (and all the stuff that goes with it) nothing real big has been happening. but thats a lie. i think that if you were here to witness it you would be shocked to see everything thats going on and yet still i feel like theres nothing. it would be awesome if i could come and visit you for x mas, man. i feel like avoiding that particular day. also i know i said there was a package for you on its way (and it still is), but let me know if theres anything particular you need or want. i'll get it fo sho. you're gonna die when you do get the package for sure. and dont fucking bug me about it either, i said before the end of december you'd get it. but now that i think about it i think i said i would send it to you in a week. i dont know. you'll get it. promise. hope the winter herpes doesn't have you down. if so, keep in mind that you're smarter than like everyone i know so it's okay. whats going down with school. have they had you get maced yet?! i need pics of it when it goes down.
toodles,
brandon
ps. and watch your teeth next time dude i dont need you scuffing up my dick.
toodles,
brandon
ps. and watch your teeth next time dude i dont need you scuffing up my dick.
normally.
this is not how i want to feel or be, but currently it's all i want. and "by myself" i mean surrounded by people who make me feel amazing. there are moments that i shovel everyone into a hole and light it on fire. work was one of those moments. for no reason except my own delusions.
...
its barely been a week since i've told myself things are gonna be alright & yet i've completely forgotten that they will be. i made that day the way it was and all i have to do is continue to do it to the rest. everything is gonna be alright. eventually. with real effort.
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