shit.!

it's twelve 30?! gotta go to bed. not wanting to wake up early tomorrow to hang out with friends. not wanting to be awake either to deal with the current frustration and envy. i'm gonna go read. my knee hurts. it feels like it's trying to bend it self all crooked and shit. i'm looking forward to sunday. and wednesday. and the 25th. and tomorrow. i'm rambling. i'm busying my brain. i'm distracting my thoughts. i'm avioding the now and always of my thinking cycle. i'm bitter. but not super mean. i wish to lay in my bed and close my eyes and instantly fall asleep. i wish my wishes came true. not so much this one, but the one i only ever make.